[Daag44]

Deep and Solemn Gift from Strong People

Charles, you’ve expressed yourself beautifully. You have a toughness and amazing grit you’ve developed by overcoming adversity, this will serve you well. “Grit” is one of the most important qualities a person can have, and it costs us plenty to earn.
Thank you for sharing and be assured we’re wishing you all the best and will do what we can to help.
Many have offered their prayers and this is a deep and solemn gift from strong people.

Through your pain you’re inspiring us to be better people, Charles. Your story has changed my Christmas and the interactions I’m having with my mom too.
Adios for now,
Mic

On the bold, I was pleasantly surprised how revealing and helpful that has been to me.

 

[Daag44]

Photo Albums

Yesterday I gathered the photo albums and brought them to me Sister to scan the ones for the funeral. I looked at a few, but the pain remains too fresh.


The Fear of Forgetting

The evening before last I helped a neighbour with an install and just as I began to feel a little better, around 8pm I had an unexpected new fear that crept over me. Was I beginning to forget about her? The next morning (yesterday) I was in her room thinking of all of stuff I needed to remove like clothe, shoes and books, stuff like that. It felt like I was getting ready to empty the house to make room for others, which I was. Then came the thought, was I already beginning to erase my Mom?


Survival Instincts

That fear did not last long. I think it was about feeling ready to take the next step which is the transition to living alone. Understandably I have had months and years to prepare myself for the eventuality. I have already begun asking various people for help for certain types of items.

It feels like survival instincts are kicking in with a grieving process that is accelerating and promising. This has me think that writing it out has been been a blessing. I have already begun to think of the next week, month, and even the next six months.


Little Voice in my Head

Until recently the thought of my Mom having passed was numbing. I can finally envision a change with a faint voice in my head from my Mom giving me the strength to forge ahead. I have never had premonitions or any of that kind of stuff, but she did. I have always been happy to be without, but after loosing my Mom I may welcome it if it ever happens. What I am hearing faintly today is the part of her that is within me. That is the part that was previously numb and debilitating.


Crying for my Mommy

I feel like a little boy crying for my Mommy, which I have done a few times. I am remembering the times that I would loose my Mom in a medium size department store from the age of 6. Like a normal kid I would find pleasure perusing the store. But when it came time to find her and she was nowhere to be found, oh oh! I remember the panic attacks like it was yesterday. That reminds me that even in my late 40s I would loose her in large department stores. Like me, she could move from one dept to another. All of a sudden I am remembering clearly the last two times, once in Canadian Tire and another in Walmart which took me over 20 min to find her. Heck I remember the details where I lost her in each store and asking others if they had seen her. 'She went that way' lol I was like my Mom in a store. I would get in my head and time flew. The difference is that she never worried about loosing me. I did ask her about this, and she knew I always would always return.


Loosing Sight of my Mom in the Past several Years

In the past 5 years or so, I would loose sight of her again, but most of those times she was lost. Picture her working me to open a trail. She was normally in my line of sight, but she was naturally adventurous. I remember being got caught-up in my head trying to work-out how fall and clear a bunch of small trees safely, and she was gone. Fortunately there was snow on the ground. So I followed her trail in the bush which lead back to where she was originally, but no sign of her. Oh oh! I followed our path towards the house and found her trail leading a field and found her walking towards another bush.

Imagine if that would have been no snow? That happened too. The more I write, the more I remember. The last time it happened was a couple of years ago in a medium size town. I was trimming a tree and even being really well surrounded with two others looking after my Mom, we lost track of her within 5 min. She had crossed the back yards to the neighbour, but we had no clue yet. That turned into a serious search party. When she realized to being been lost, she knocked on a door and the neighbour welcomed her him the house, which is how we lost track of her. Understandably it took some time for them to piece the puzzle before walking her over to us. Fortunately they heard the sound of my saw, so they figured that was where she came from.

A month later the same thing happened two houses down. And again I was running everywhere while she was inside the neighbour's house lol This was the time I was just about to get her an Airtag to find her on my mobile phone. At the same time she was quickly loosing her ability to walk, so it never got to that. I was also growing sharper about keeping an eye on her along with more help.


Lock & Key was Not an Option

It was either having her follow me, or put her into a home. A few years ago I was under immense pressure to consider a nursing home, and we did visit one together. Given what what happening to her, she was already too far gone for a typical nursing home, as she would needed to be under lock & key. Heck we even met one of our neighbours at the residence. I asked my Mom if she wanted to be there or at home. I told her I would never ever put her under lock&key. That led to a seriously conversation with my Sister and my Dad regarding the risk of walking out and either tripping or whatever that could potentially be fatal. I was clear as water that I prefered taking the risk than locking her up. For many years while she was still sound of mind, she made her wishes clear that when it would be time to go, then let it happen.

Three years ago I realized a profound realization that I could or would have done things differently from 1999 and on, by taking her under my wing. Please do not see it as a regret because I was not old enough, nor experienced enought, nor educated enough in the matter. I had begun to understand in 2011 when I had first joined DooTalk, so I was not far off. The entire time that I was on DooTalk, I did have have pleasure working with my Mom which lasted a long time. I just wish that I had not needed the added 10 years to fully understand. We were 30 years apart, and being a special child did not make it easy for me.

When I think back to the 1990s, my Mom was growing by leaps and bounds, that was beyong having raised a family. At one point she had raised a small herd of sheep. Then she found a place for all of them to make time to take care of her older sister that was a dire need of help. She was more than a capable women.


The IQ Topic

For those who remember the IQ topic that I started some time ago, at this point you can probably guess there was a lot behind it. When I was a kid old enough to understand basic things, so around 12 and up, my Mom shared a lot of her deepest thought with me. I remember telling me in her own words that she was not the smartest tool in the shed, but not dumb either. I related to her extraordinarly well on that point. From an early age I knew that I had an advantage over her with more complex subjects, but I quickly recognized her strength to overcome her own limitations. It was at least 35 years ago when I realized she was brilliant!


Mecanical Accumen

I remember clearly looking at the tools she was fixing on her own and thinking to myself this women with smart. I also remember showing others some of her work and pointing the simplicity and effectiveness of her repairs. I was in my 20s and 30s learning from my Mom's mechanical acumen. She was figuring this out on her own.

Obviously she had help from my Dad and me for the most difficult things like driving pickets and unrolling a fence, but the things she did on her own was surreal. And I mean a lot of things. One day she decided to put the ladder against the eavestrough (gutters) then built herself a setup againt the steep roof to clean every cedar shingle of both dormers before applying a white stain. Heck I feel unconfortable working there. She about 55 when she did that, so about my age. At 65 she was on the backside of the garage roof cleaning the shingles. She was not supposed to be, but I turned my back for a few minutes to get someting, and next thing I knew she was up on the roof working lol

 

[xsivhp]

sorry for your loss Daag. hang in there man.

 

[vinci_78]

Last night my Mom passed away. She had suffered a growing loss in her abilities that eventually led her to take a last breath.

When I first joined DooTalk for having bought an Renegade RT, she spent several years working with me on the sled from teardowns to testings and rebuilds. I would often joke with her that she had gained more experience working on the RT than many who had owned one.

During the same time, she was asked to pass a drivers test prior to renewal, so I spent a year coaching her to bring her driving skills up to par. She had been drive stick forever, so it was little things. I remember getting anxiety each time she got too close to the edge of the road and saying please get away from the edge! lol

On the day of her appointment for the driving test, she managed to break the drivers side mirror on her way to pick me up at work. I got on the phone to find the nearest junkyard and managed to get a replacement. I explained the situation asked for a favour to replace the mirror for me in the parking, which he did. I gave him a good tip and hurried over to her appointment. After returning from a ride with the instructor, I immediately asked him how she did? He said there were a few problems, but considering her age and driving stick, he was left impressed.

There are many stories from the past where she took care of me, then shouldered me along a difficult time from preschool up to high school. I was borderline a special needs kid, so it took a lot of effort to help me survive the craziness. She was my rock and taught me how to defend myself. She had a natural ability to wrestle me to the ground and ask for mercy. The problem was that I was laughing so much that I had trouble uttering the word lol

I miss everything about her. Teaching me how to clean homes when I refused to go to school, to showing me how to weed vineyards to earn my trip to Europe when I was eleven.

Last year I was hoping take my Mom to Sweden. I hold a sense of responsibility that I did not do enough to make it happen. I wished for more quality time, yet there was less to be had. Last night I witnessed the last spark of her life. All those things I had seen in movies that seemed weird like kissing a person on their forehead, never made sense to me until last night. The funeral home came to get her a couple of hours ago and they were surprised that I was going to pick her up from the chair and carry her out of the house and onto the gurney. I showed them the inside stairs were tight against the front door, so it made sense to me. It did make everyone uncomfortable, but this was the best way. I can understand how it could make anyone squeamish, but it no longer applies after having taken care of someone. I was a lesson that I was not looking forward to learn.

Tonight (or rather this morning) it is 4am and I am alone. I have been writing this for a couple of hours on the coldest night we have had so far. If you wonder why I write this, try to think of an alternative. I will be there tomorrow and the day after and so on. What I mean is, what would you rather me do? There is no way that I can sleep until I become exhausted. And then I will wake-up alone in the house wondering where my Mom is. That is F's up.

Thankfully I am well surrounded by friends and neighbours. Tomorrow I will need to write something on our family FaceBook group which scares me. Writing this post is keeping me from regressing into some sort of isolation state which the thought scares the crap out of me. In writing this topic I have had to walk into an empty house to stoke/feed the fire several times.

I miss my Mom

You are in my thoughts @Daag44. I appreciate you. Call me if you need.

 

[Daag44]

A Degree of Autonomy

I have often wondered how this is defined. Don't get me wrong, I am not really looking to define it. I am just asking myself what it would mean to have a kid that is a few steps further than me in the autism scale. I remember every once in a while someone on DooTalk making a mention towards a troublemaker that was likely a kid living in his Mom's basement. No one lives in our basement, but the reading those comments in my early 40s was hitting too close to home. I have never hid my situation from anyone I spoke to on DooTalk, and that is a lot of people, but I was not publicizing it on the open forum either.


Vintage Show in Summer of 2024

This past late Summer my Mom and I met @alainm for the first time, and @turbopete for the third time. I was pushing my Mom in a wheelchair and I could not be happier. It was not cold, but not warm enough for her. She was no longer creating much body heat, so I had her dressed with full body thermal, a fleece hoody, tuque and mittens.

The first time we went to the Saint-Jerome vintage show, my Mom was walking on her own. I was even able to leave her on her own a few minutes while I scouted the terrain at a faster pace looking for Peter. Then I doubled back to get her and Peter took a pause from his post to do a little shopping with me. After he went back to his post, my Mom and I spent the next few hours perusing the site. Having my Mom with me was the highlight. I remember thinking that I should have done this stuff long before.


Wild Side

My regret is not having done this earlier. Although there was a time that she was on the wild side that could be troublesome. Once she shook away her deep shyness like mine, for a number of years she was a party animal on a dance floor. I was not there each time, but she did invite me and I saw it for myself in the late 2000s. The sugar shack season was the height of her experience.

I was the only one in my family who saw that side of her. We were living together, but she was autonomous and seeking out her own interests. In the 2000s, she did a lot of things on her own that covered a surprising number of interests. It was not excessive, but it was surprising to me. She knew a lot of people in the region. She would often talk about them and at times drive me over to meet them. I guess the apple does not fall far from the tree? lol

One time in late Summer of 2013. I took with me for a game of paint ball that she waited around among others, and afterwards for supper. The paint ball was fine, but the supper was not appropriate. I still remember thinking there was no decision that felt right. I was in the parking lot trying to make a decision and remember thinking which decision felt more wrong. I asked my Mom to stay in the car for a few minutes while I went into the restaurant/pub and take my friend to the side and tell him that I felt in an impossible situation with my Mom having had the most fantastic day ever and having to drive her home made no sense to me. It was either we both went home or I would bring her with me. He did not skip a beat and invited her in for the party. He knew how to made work and play to make it embarrassing for me lol For my Mom, she enjoyed herself so much. It turned out to be among the best memories of my Mom within her element.

I am too embarrassed to openly say what that day and evening was about, but you can easily figure it out. The gentlemen wanted only one thing for this particular day, to have the most fun possible. I got razzed badly for that one, but it worked out surprisingly well, and we had a lot of fun. Essentially my friend understood and made it work.

When I think back, 2013 was over 10 years ago! Last Summer of 2024 I brought with me to a birthday party among friends. That time again worked out far better than I had expected. At the time she was still eating on her own. I just had to cut the meat into smaller pieces, otherwise she was fine.

 

[Daag44]

You are in my thoughts @Daag44. I appreciate you. Call me if you need.

I really appreciate it. I remember telling my Mom that someone from Alaska had called me from the deep woods of Alaska, and it sounded like someone she would have done lol

 

[DOOLIFE800]

My condolences Charles, lost mine a little over a year ago. Going to give you some time but I'd like to talk again One of these nights.

 

[Daag44]

My condolences Charles, lost mine a little over a year ago. Going to give you some time but I'd like to talk again One of these nights.

It is good to hear from you Don! There is no better time for me than tonight or tomorrow. Please feel free to call.

 

[Daag44]

Music to my Ears

Tonight I had someone play music for me in remembrance to my Mom. When I was asked what I wanted to hear, I specifically asked for anything that was devised on the spot. That was fun. My Mom would have liked that, and so did I.

Once in a while I would turn on the radio and have fun. My Mom would get up and have fun too. Over time I seem to have lost the interest which pains me to remember. Somewhere along the line I lost a part of myself, and in turn I lost a part of my Mom.

 

[alainm]

Daag44,
I’m sorry I missed this last week. It’s never easy to lose someone close. When I saw your mother last fall, she didn’t seem very healthy, but even so, this must be difficult. I hope the hole this leaves in your life isn’t too overwhelming, though I know it can be a long and steep road to healing.

My sincere condolences.

 

[Daag44]

Daag44,
I’m sorry I missed this last week. It’s never easy to lose someone close. When I saw your mother last fall, she didn’t seem very healthy, but even so, this must be difficult. I hope the hole this leaves in your life isn’t too overwhelming, though I know it can be a long and steep road to healing.

My sincere condolences.

Thank you Alain. It was Sept 21st, three months ago. I was glad to have made it to the show. When the parking attendants saw me sit her onto the wheelchair, they quickly came over and said to park nearby which really helped us. We were joined at the hip for over 10 years. I miss taking her with me everywhere I went.

https://www.dootalk.com/posts/24572683/

When she lost her driver's license, we were already joined at the hip. Had I been confident enough to go on my own, I would have preferred to do this with her while learning a new trade. I wish that I had begun around 2004 while she was still in good enough shape. The thing is, that was 20 years ago and I don't think that I was confident nor mature enough to counter the opposition I would of had back then. I did learn an amazing amount in those years that made it possible to do what we did together in the past 12 years.

I am thinking of finding someone to work with and putting what I learnt to good use. On the 1st I will be meeting up with someone, so there is a plan to move forward. January and February are tough months, so it can be a challenge. Although last year would have been easy to find good days to work outdoors. I am glad the snow has melted which gives me two nice days to sort through my driveway before the next snowfall. Somehow I recognize the signs that this will be a snowy winter for my neck of the woods. In the best winters we get about 16" of ground cover.

 

[ilovemyskidog]

Sorry for your loss Daag , my condolences to you and your family

 

[Pit Grunt]

I just saw this. Sorry for your loss and RIP.

 

[Turbo Doo]

Last night my Mom passed away. She had suffered a growing loss in her abilities that eventually led her to take a last breath.

When I first joined DooTalk for having bought an Renegade RT, she spent several years working with me on the sled from teardowns to testings and rebuilds. I would often joke with her that she had gained more experience working on the RT than many who had owned one.

During the same time, she was asked to pass a drivers test prior to renewal, so I spent a year coaching her to bring her driving skills up to par. She had been drive stick forever, so it was little things. I remember getting anxiety each time she got too close to the edge of the road and saying please get away from the edge! lol

On the day of her appointment for the driving test, she managed to break the drivers side mirror on her way to pick me up at work. I got on the phone to find the nearest junkyard and managed to get a replacement. I explained the situation asked for a favour to replace the mirror for me in the parking, which he did. I gave him a good tip and hurried over to her appointment. After returning from a ride with the instructor, I immediately asked him how she did? He said there were a few problems, but considering her age and driving stick, he was left impressed.

There are many stories from the past where she took care of me, then shouldered me along a difficult time from preschool up to high school. I was borderline a special needs kid, so it took a lot of effort to help me survive the craziness. She was my rock and taught me how to defend myself. She had a natural ability to wrestle me to the ground and ask for mercy. The problem was that I was laughing so much that I had trouble uttering the word lol

I miss everything about her. Teaching me how to clean homes when I refused to go to school, to showing me how to weed vineyards to earn my trip to Europe when I was eleven.

Last year I was hoping take my Mom to Sweden. I hold a sense of responsibility that I did not do enough to make it happen. I wished for more quality time, yet there was less to be had. Last night I witnessed the last spark of her life. All those things I had seen in movies that seemed weird like kissing a person on their forehead, never made sense to me until last night. The funeral home came to get her a couple of hours ago and they were surprised that I was going to pick her up from the chair and carry her out of the house and onto the gurney. I showed them the inside stairs were tight against the front door, so it made sense to me. It did make everyone uncomfortable, but this was the best way. I can understand how it could make anyone squeamish, but it no longer applies after having taken care of someone. I was a lesson that I was not looking forward to learn.

Tonight (or rather this morning) it is 4am and I am alone. I have been writing this for a couple of hours on the coldest night we have had so far. If you wonder why I write this, try to think of an alternative. I will be there tomorrow and the day after and so on. What I mean is, what would you rather me do? There is no way that I can sleep until I become exhausted. And then I will wake-up alone in the house wondering where my Mom is. That is F's up.

Thankfully I am well surrounded by friends and neighbours. Tomorrow I will need to write something on our family FaceBook group which scares me. Writing this post is keeping me from regressing into some sort of isolation state which the thought scares the crap out of me. In writing this topic I have had to walk into an empty house to stoke/feed the fire several times.

I miss my Mom

Condolences 🙏

 

[mike0chek]

dang charles thats a tough one. sorry to hear buddy keep your head up.

 

[UnoMas?]

Thinking of you Charles, hope you’re feeling supported by those around you.

 

[Daag44]

Thank you for the support

Thinking of you Charles, hope you’re feeling supported by those around you.

Thankfully I am well supported, both at home and from DooTalk members. On Jan 1st I did go see friends and had a fun time playing Risk. I did get the sniffles which worried me. I have only gotten a cold in Aug of 2019 then Oct of 2022, and no covid yet. Weird thing is the sniffles were gone the next day, but I felt down again. Since then it has felt evenly ok for the past 7 days, which I can better handle then an up followed by a down.

The first five days of the year I often found myself calling for 'Moma' a slight deviation from 'Mama', kinda like saying Mommy. For the past 30 to 35 years I have called my mother 'Mom'. It is not unheard of among the bilingual in my neck of the woods. 'Moman' for me dates back to when I was 5 to 10 years old or perhaps a little longer. I had not called her that in as long as I could remember, and then all of a sudden I reverted back to those old days like I was a child.

The first week was being numb followed by a week of calling for my Mommy. I am sorta pleased that those two parts are mostly over. I knew how strong the umbilical cord was, and I had expected it would hurt like hell, but this is nuts. Today I was running errands and it felt wrong that she was not with me. Everything feels wrong without her.

If I could relive the last 25 years with what I had learnt in the past 3 years, I would have quit my job and focused my full attention on my Mom. I did do this to the extent of my abilities at the time, but had I known better I would have multiplied my focus. And I do not mean changing myself to adapt, but rather better adapting to change. I have been working for people in their 70s, 80s and 90s for over a decade, so I have grown to know what they need which is not that complicated. For example, when I see someone with one arm helping me more than others with two arms, such as carrying cedar branches, it does put things into perspective. There are a lot of people out there who need a helping hand, pun intended lol No worries, I feel comfortable joking about it. I actually called her last night when I reached this part of my draft post.

I can easily deal with talking about all kinds of subjects, so it doesn't bother me. The variety of beliefs is surprisingly large with non believers, presidents, antivax, conspiracies, you name it. I once spoke to the son in law of one of my clients, and he gave me a lesson on conspiracies which was actually illuminating. The fun part of working for myself is that I can take a break whenever I want and discuss with my clients whatever we choose. Funny story, back in the late 90s I entered a conversation with a client over the phone from maybe Texas or North Carolina who got into a political subject that was surprisingly similar to today's debates nearly 30 years later. I remember telling him that I had to be extra cautious to what I was saying on my end because this was highly problematic for me to even have such a discussion. After 20 min or so he thanked me for helping him out and for the discussion. Fortunately I never got into trouble for such things, only for regular work stuff when too many of my buttons were pressed at the same time lol Those experiences really did help me with DooTalk when moderators were having to pick-up the pieces.

The fun thing for me is that I have no one telling me what I can or cannot say or write to anyone. For most I am considered young at 55, for I still have 30 years under my belt to talk about whatever I want. I was talking about a completely different religion than my own on the bus when I was 10. I still remember taking his pictured book home and reading through it. For some strange reason, these things do not bother me. Just last month I was having a conversation with a guy who was selling me lengths of wood and he got into religion too for 20 minutes lol Religion and Politics are the two most divisive topics, and yet it does not phase me. One of my clients told me last week that she was uncomfortable to go to the church. I told her that it did not matter and it was too soon for me, so either show up for the reception to have a meal with my friends, or skip it and we would honour my Mom our own way. As a good example, you honour my Mom by replying on DooTalk and asking how I am doing.

In the mid 1990s, my Mom's eldest sister had a brother who had been taken care of her since their Mom passed away, and when he passed away it was a bad situation which left her alone and helpless. That was when my Mom stepped in and did her best to take care of her. No one is given a course on how to do this, so it is trial&error. I chose differently, but I wish I had put more effort in the late 1990s or early 2000s. I had people telling me that I should not regret, but I think that I can and it is healthy to a point. I equate wishing to have done better to doing better in the future.

I still have a Dad with an umbilical cord that is as strong as with my Mom, so my plight has only begun.


Thanks again for replying!
Charles

 

[Daag44]

I just saw this. Sorry for your loss and RIP.

Thank you. Funny thing, I did talk about you and other DooTalk moderators to my Mom. You may remember when I was in a tight spot on DooTalk. I still remember replying to you guys and telling my Mom about it. She asked me if I thought I had done right by you guys who were helping me. I answered that I hoped that I did and was hoping for the best. I remember a week later she asked it all was well, and I said that I had heard nothing, but I was still allowed to post on DooTalk, so it looked promising.

When I started the topic '10 years on DooTalk', that was as real as it gets. I was counting down the months then weeks and days prior to reaching that point. I had spoken to many people who were unable to make it work while I was worrying about myself. That moment for me on the balance scale was unpleasant. I do not know who tipped the scale, but I am forever grateful. I want you to know that what you guys did for me affected two people, me and my Mom. And I am referring to the help you guys gave me over the years which is what tipped the scale.

Thank you for taking the risk on me.

https://www.dootalk.com/threads/daag44-after-10-years-on-dootalk.1610124/

 

[Daag44]

First Crankshaft Runout on an 850 with 16,000 miles

dang charles thats a tough one. sorry to hear buddy keep your head up.

Thanks for taking the time and making the effort on the Crankshaft Runout for your 850 after 16,000 miles. You may remember this was before I got to take the same measurements on a 10,000 mile 800R E-TEC due not being able to cross the border. Back in the 2010s, my Mom would help me work on this stuff. Being the youngest in the family, she was exposed to years of working with her older brothers on all sorts of mechanical work. She loved this stuff, anything from mechanical to constructions to gardening. She was the defination of a tom boy, yet she was 100% a girl when it came time to going out. Funny thing, she never wore ear rings, and to this day I dislike seeing such things on girls.

When I was in my early twenties, I wore a nice necklace that my Sister had bought me. Within a few years I deleted the necklace and have since been with zero apparels other than a watch. I have often wondered if this was part of being on the edge of the autism scale. It is the best explanation that I have come up with. Heck I do not even enjoy makeup on a girl. You can imagine this puts me in a bad spot when it comes to girls. Although I have been lucky to have girlfriends who were very light on that stuff. I remember being given back an engagement ring and returning it to jewely store with plenty of money to affort two watches as a swap, one for me and one for my Mom. I walked out of the thinking this was an awesome deal! lol I still remember presenting my Mom with her new watch which fit her perfectly.

Funny story, maybe ten years ago I brought her watch to the jewlers on a regular bases to swap the battery and he somehow mixed the watch and gave hers to another client. With no records of who he swaped it with, and it never was returned, he offered us a brand new watch. I still have it which I removed from her wrist about three months ago. I am trying to remember why I did that. She could no longer tell the time and I think she was fiddling around with the watch too much that it became a problem. I have it on the counter next to the door, so I see it everytime I walk in the house.

 

[Daag44]

Driving Stick

Sorry for your loss Daag , my condolences to you and your family

Thank you. It means a lot to me. I know it is not easy to reply and this kind of topic on a public forum is unommon, especially on a public snowmobile forum. To this day I feel that writing it out has saved me. It was too painful to write nothing.

The cool thing is that we cannot cheat in writing. Perhaps purposely, but that takes far too much effort. A few days ago I had someone asking me if I had regrets. My answer was heck ya, but keeping her with me was not one of them. There was a point that it was a little iffy when she would take off and be nowhere to be found, but we found her.

Funny story, a few years back she took my keys, got into her car and drove to my Sister which was a 60 second drive away. I do not remember what I was doing, but when I realized the car was gone I also recieved a call asking if I knew where my Mom was???? I remember answering no I did not know, but the car was gone lol From that point forward I kept the keys in my pocket.

Years ago when she lost her drivers permit, I would have her drive the car along a driveway to follow my work, and even along along a long path to the bush for the same. The path in the woods was a mile long, and we could drive about three quarter of a mile before having to walk. This was ten years ago, so she never forgot how to drive stick (manual transmission).

Thank your for replying. It really means a lot to me.