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Hold It Wide Open Till You See God
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>Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards
>are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
>glorious winners:
>
>
> 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
>during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
>Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
>barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....
>
>
>
> And now, the honourable mentions:
>
> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
>machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
>insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
>men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
>finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>
>
> 3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
>had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
>driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
>transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
>his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
>everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
>the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
>excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't
>discovered for 3 days.
>
> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
>head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
>the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
>close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
>
>
> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
>counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
>the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
>fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
>got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives
>you
> money, is a crime committed?)
>
> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
>that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
>some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
>his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
>would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store
>window
> was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
>
>
> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
>woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
>Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
>the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
> and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
>officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
>
> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
>demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
>open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
>rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
>frustrated, walked away.
>
> ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
>
> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
>on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
>Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
>motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
>admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
>the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
>declined to
> press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
>
>
> In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your
>friends and family.... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by
>chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad
>they are distant and hope they remain lost.
 

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planes take off against the wind
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??? Why do I feel a sense of Dejavu?
 

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3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

This is my favorite...
 

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80elan said:
These were almost funny the first time.
[snapback]696802[/snapback]​
come one #3
 
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